More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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