I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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