if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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