DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
