This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
