I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
