No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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