my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Barsexuality is the new black.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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