I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
