So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I bet he comes in French.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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