whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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