i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
