God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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