i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
