and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
