operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
