Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you didnt know i had herpes?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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