i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
