your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
