Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
