im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
