the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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