i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
