Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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