Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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