Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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