I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dear god my vagina.
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