at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
