3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
