My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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