i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
