I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
