...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
