apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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