You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
