garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
