Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
