so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
