so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
