Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
