it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize