Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
