I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
