Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
