i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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