actually, I'm a sock model
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
