gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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