Tell her she can't have a vagina
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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