Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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