just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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