sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
