My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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