Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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