I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
