I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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