my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She needs sedatives and a leash
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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