half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
