I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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