also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize