i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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